Briarlight's Wish
by Rain's Song
Summary: "What did I do? I sat around each day, good for nothing more than sweeping away dust with my tail and sorting herbs. I couldn't do anything productive for my Clan. I was only a burden, another mouth to feed." One-shot!


Briarlight's Wish

Briarlight's P.O.V.:

I panted with trembling legs as I continued my exercises. Exhaustion was nagging at me and it felt as if a butterfly had flown into my throat. I coughed wearily.

"Are you alright?" demanded Millie, her eyes stretched wide in anxiety.

"Yes," I lied automatically. Against my will, my chest heaved another cough.

"Maybe you should be eating more herbs," she fretted, her voice flying at the speed of light. "Or perhaps you're not eating enough. You seem rather weak-"

Before I could reply, Jayfeather cut in, "Maybe you should leave, Millie. Briarlight needs to be able to do her exercises in peace." I blinked at Jayfeather gratefully before realizing he wouldn't see it. I saw my mother's eyes flash, and she spun around furiously to face the medicine cat. She opened her mouth to make a scathing retort, but she closed it in defeat.

"I suppose you're right," she murmured. "Briarlight needs her stretches to make her strong." She sounded as though she was trying to convince herself. She turned back around and nuzzled my head softly before padding away from the medicine den. _It's as if I'm a kit!_ I thought in annoyance. _Shouldn't she be spending more times with Bumblestripe or Blossomfall? _I felt a flicker of guilt. _She would be, _I realized with a pang, _if I wasn't stuck inside here all day._

"That's enough for one day," Jayfeather murmured. I plopped down onto my nest, feeling as if I had run through the forest a hundred times over. Through tired eyes, I watched as Jayfeather grabbed a pile of leaves and began to sort through them, placing each herb in different piles. My thoughts began to wander back to Millie.

I knew with absolute certainty that she wasn't spending half the amount of time she spent in the medicine den with my siblings. _Millie should be proud of them, _I thought miserably. They were growing into such strong, loyal warriors. They would fight to the death for their Clan! They hunted every day, went on border patrols, and helped the elders. And what did _I _do? I sat around each day, good for nothing more than sweeping away dust with my tail and sorting herbs. I couldn't do anything productive for my Clan. I was only a burden, another mouth to feed. Waves of sadness and guilt crashed into me without mercy. Why was Millie always wasting time in here? Blossomfall and Bumblestripe must have missed her as a proud, loving mother. _It's all my fault! _I knew undoubtedly. _If I hadn't gotten hurt-_

"Stop it," Jayfeather's voice cut into my thoughts. I jumped.

"Stop what?" I demanded.

"You know exactly 'what,'" he snapped. I flinched. Jayfeather had an uncanny way of knowing exactly what I was thinking about. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is!" I burst out.

"Oh?" I glared at him in stony silence. I didn't want to talk about this right now. He continued, "Briarlight, none of us are blaming you for-"

I cut his thought short. "Well you _should,_" I retorted. "I'm just a burden on the Clan, Jayfeather! I can't hunt! I can't fight! Everyone pays me all this attention! I'm no StarClan cat! I can't even _move!_" My words came out in a rush. Feelings I that had been brewing inside me for so long were tumbling out of my mouth. "You all should be proud of Bumblestripe and Blossomfall! They're great warriors! They're just what ThunderClan needs! But does anyone even care? Millie doesn't! They're her own kits, and she doesn't even glance at them anymore! And it's my fault, Jayfeather! It really is! If I hadn't broken my back-"

"That's enough," Jayfeather meowed calmy. I started in surprise when I realized the sharp-tongued tabby's eye were gentle. "You were very brave, trying to save Longtail like that. You couldn't have stopped the tree from falling, though. No cat could have. It wasn't your fault that you got hurt."

"Well," I began. "Even if that is true, it doesn't help. I just want to be whole again. I'm sick of being useless. I want to help my Clan!"

"You _do _help you're Clan, every day," the medicine cat told me.

"Sorting herbs doesn't count," I muttered.

"I'm not talking about the little chores I give you," Jayfeather snapped.

"Then what _are _you talking about?" I demanded.

"You give ThunderClan _hope,_" he meowed fervently, his blue eyes gleaming. "Hope is the one thing we have needed for so long, and _you _gave it to us! Everytime you drag yourself to the fresh-kill pile, or play with the kits, or wear yourself out with exercises, the Clan sees you as brave. You're brave enough to live your life. You're brave enough to fight back against your injury. You inspire every cat in ThunderClan, from the smallest kit to the oldest elder." I gaped at him incredulously. "Your spirit is in everything we do. Your hope sharpens our claws and makes every cat here a better warrior."

My eyes widened in disbelief. For a while, I couldn't speak. "Is…is it true?" I whispered after many long moments.

"Of course it's true," Jayfeather retorted, beginning to sound like his normal self. "I don't speak for the pleasure of hearing my own voice."

He padded away, deeper into the medicine den. I listened as he pawed through the herbs in the storage cleft. My thoughts were dazed. His words were still ringing in my ears. _You give ThunderClan hope_, he had said. All I had ever wanted was to help my Clan. I purred quietly to myself, feeling free for the first time in moons. I was finally getting my wish.


End file.
